Bad Leroy Brown

Took this off of Ritte Racing

 Though that it may help all of the spring roadies..

 Just don't piss into the wind.


Step One: Drift to the back of the pack. (That should be obvious enough, right?) Then wait for a slight downhill. You’ve got to keep your speed up so you can complete the task without coasting to a stop. Falling over into a puddle of your own urine is embarrassing and unpleasant:

Step Two: Roll up the right leg of your shorts as high as you can:

Step Three: With your left hand on the top of your bar, stand straight up on your right leg and twist to face the side of the road:

Step Four: Pull your junk out from under the rolled up leg and let it all go. A lot of guys have a big problem with this final, crucial step. Just relax, you’ve done this every day of your life. Of course, prepare to be passed by a few follow vehicles. Try not to think about the fact that they’re both disgusted by you and are at that moment ridiculing you:

Step Five: When you’re done, just shake it out, tuck it in and hope there hasn’t been an acceleration in the pack. You did it! You get a golden star!